I’ve never really been a fan or hater of Valentine’s Day. Personally, I think you could look at it from either side and find great and ridiculous things about it… but at the end of the day it is a holiday that is “acknowledged”, so I chose a while back to make up my own thoughts and opinions about it and just stick to that. Regardless, I’ve noticed that people often focus on the love that they have or don’t have with others. Now, for all of you single men and women out there you may scoff at this entire concept of a day and think “womp, womp I’m single” and want to go cry about it in a heart shaped box of Russell Stover chocolates — and that’s totally fine. Anyone who is seeking love and hasn’t found it yet rightfully can dwell in the fact that they want something that they don’t have.  For those of you who do have significant others… cheers to you! Congrats on finding someone you’re can stand to watch terrible TV with, cook with and for, and enjoy life with. It’s really the best.

A couple years ago this really changed for me. Whichever circumstance you fall in, one thing remains constant. Before you can be happy with or without someone else you have to be completely happy with who you are. I know you’ve heard this and read this and I’m not trying to sound like a self help novelist, but in my recent life experiences I’ve found that when you do hit that point it changes everything.

I’ve had two very memorable Valentine’s experiences that have really stuck out to me. The first was with someone I dated for a long time – the most memorable part of it was that I received a handmade card with a stick figure drawing inside of us and a very special note about what I meant to that person (no this was not when I was 6). Forget the fancy dinners and jewelry – that’s the kind of stuff that melts my heart. The second was my first Valentine’s day being single in over 6 years – I was in New York (by myself) for Fashion Week and spent the morning at the Jenny Packham runway show and then in the American Express skybox with Peter Davis. I distinctly remember walking around the streets of New York City at the end of the day just thinking about how happy I was and thinking what a strange sensation it was to be completely alone and feeling so alive. I hadn’t felt like that in a really long time. Although it was a different emotion than the feeling of being loved by another person, for me it was a really memorable one.

The biggest lesson I’ve learned in the past few years is that the most important relationship you’ll ever (and always) have… is with yourself. It’s “your big love” before you can have a big love with another. There will be times when you are sad, when life gets crazy and hard, when nothing is going your way… but at the end of the day loving yourself and what you’re all about is what will help push you past those times and into the brighter ones. Getting your heart broken is pretty awful – been there and done that. We all go through struggles, it’s inevitable. Having that foundation of knowing who you are, loving it, and rocking that as hard as you can is what it’s all about! And you’ll get there trust me.

So… whether you’re in a relationship or not this Valentine’s Day I am challenging you to figure out how you can really get to know yourself and make sure you’re fully in love with that person in the mirror. I’ve found through my own life that sometimes the best way to do that is to put yourself in different situations! Here are some fun ideas and things I’ve done that reflecting back really made a difference for me:

• Take a solo trip (like Paris for 48 hours)
• Set aside a specific time and day where you only do new things by yourself
• Pick up a new hobby
• Volunteer for something that you’re passionate about

Happy early Valentine’s Day to all of you! I’d love to hear your thoughts and how you celebrate this strange but awesome day. xo!

P.S. – 2 more days in the Je T’aime sweater giveaway, and perhaps another lovely one coming your way before this week is over… :)